Blogs are for updating.

Last entry October 13th...

I. am. slack. 10 days I have been in Berlin and not one fucking entry. Shameful.

Buuut, in my defence, I have been fucking busy... and my apartment is internetless. I had forgotten what an internetless world was like. Conclusion? I am way too dependent on the old world wide web. How on earth did people stay in contact before? How the fuck did we know what was going on in the world? Where to go? What to see? I just don't know anymore...

Anyway, let us not get bogged down in the fact that I can't refresh twitter every seven and a half minutes, because I am in Berlin. Being here makes up for the fact that I am not instantly updated every time that Stephen Fry inhales or David Attenborough has a headache.

Here is a quick run-down of the highs and lows of the big move:

Let's get the LOWS out of the way first:

- The actual process of moving. I wish I could go back in time, speak to my former-self who decided on packing so many books and stab that former me in the heart. That suitcase nearly killed me. I keep having flashbacks to when I was dragging that mother-fucker around whilst looking for my apartment and failing to even read a map properly. And you just know that I am never going to read any of those fucking books...

- A minor near death experience. Cars drive on the other side of the road. I am not bright enough to get out of that UK roads mentality. When walking out of my apartment one morning, a little tired, a lot worse for wear from the previous night, I stepped out and very nearly died at the hands of a motorbike. I genuinely let out a little scream. My whole life flashed before my eyes. It was distressing. Whilst I'm thinking of time travel in order to rectify any moronic decisions, it is only right that I let my much former former-self know that dressing exclusively from Camden Market doesn't make you appear interesting. You, unquestionably, look like an absolute twat.

- Registering as a resident at the Burgerampt. Okay, okay, it wasn't that bad and it was over pretty quick. But, when a terrifyingly stern man with an overwhelming moustache looks you up and down, examines your passport and scribbles something down on a form that you can't possible read you feel like an absolute English, ignorant cunt. Well... at least I did. "Ich spreche keine Deutsche" didn't seem to quite cut it. I threw in the, "I am here as I want to learn German" line as often as I could. But, still... afterwards I was so excited about being a resident and spent so long admiring my little certificate that I forgot about all that. This must be what having a baby is like.. the end result makes you forget the previous pain.

Now for the HIGHS:

- I am in Berlin! I fucking love Berlin. Without boring the shit out of anyone and everyone by rabbiting on about going to this bar and that place, I will simply summarise by declaring my absolute love for this city. Sure, I knew I loved it - it is why I came here. But it is totally different than when I've been here on holiday; I already feel like I know the city better and I love the fact that I have time to really discover it. I feel all settled and comfortable, kind of like this is home...

- Seeing Sonic Youth. They are more than a bit good.

- The apartment I am staying in, despite being internetless, is fucking amazing.

- I have eaten a pork based product and drunk beer on a daily basis since I have been here.

- Friends visiting. First was the turn of Hannah and Joe. Sure, I got them lost and took them to the worst club in Berlin (rock karaoke anyone?) but serious fun was had by all. I am soooo excited about all my upcoming visitors! People I love in Berlin equates to awesome times.

- Finding new places that I love, making a couple of friends and finally getting out of "This is a holiday" mode.

I am going to be good from now on and update this bloody thing on a regular basis, I promise. I might even get round to uploading my Holga pictures, what with that being the whole point of the fucking thing...

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